In spite of my Tarhole’s incessant whining & bitching (1)Duke beat the mighty Valpo Crusaders 104-77. Which I really needed after that Cowboys debacle. And the Falcons didn’t treat me any better, but that’s okay, I figure Santa is just trying to teach me a little lesson in humility. I’d just like to point out to Santa that he can start teaching my Tarhole that lesson anytime he feels like it. Not complaining, just thought perhaps he overlooked it, and needed someone to remind him. After all, he has a tough job, anything I can do to help out, you know.
As usual, within the first 15 minutes my Tarhole pointed out to me how Coach K had, “bought himself yet another game.” Every time Redick got fouled he screamed at the players on the TV like they could hear him, “Stupid ass son of a bitch!! What the f@#ck are you thinking? Stay the f#@ck away from sissy boy, you know you can’t f-ing even breathe in the same zip code as that f-ing pussy ass motherf@#cker without K’s refs calling a foul!” Occasionally he’d spice things up by adding a, “stupid ass motherf@#cker,” to the end of it.
Another favorite target of his is Melch. For the most part he loves him and sings his praises anytime the poor boy misses a shot. He also berates Coach K anytime he takes him out of the game with a, “WTF K??!! He’s your best f-ing player!! Get the boy back in there, dumb ass.” I admit to laughing, once, during one of the first games. (No, I’m not an angel apparently, perhaps that’s why I really like Duke, they have, “Devils,” in their name). That confession made, let me just say I’m getting really sick of this bit. I guess that’s why it almost made me smile to hear him call Melch a, “f@#cking pussy,” when he was bleeding and had to be taken out for a bit. Not that I was happy that he was injured or being taken out, it was just refreshing to hear my Tarhole say something bad about him. If it makes you feel any better, if you think you’re confused reading this, just try being me.
Ever since Dock dared to make that amazing shot against VT, he’s now among my Tarhole’s targets. And tonight, McRoberts and Paulus also made the cut. Well done, boys!! You know you’re on the right track when he decides he hates you. And McRoberts, he really, really hates you in particular for some reason. I think it’s because of his size. My Tarhole isn’t tall, not short, just not tall, then again, I barely come in at 5 feet, so my perception of height isn’t all that precise. In my little world, most people are giants. So perhaps this is what really bugs him about McRoberts. Oddly enough, I’ve never heard him say one thing bad about Williams, strange, no? But, of all players, JJ Redick will always reign supreme as The Official Most Hated Duke Player EVER, joining the ranks of Laettner, Hurley & Ferry in my Tarhole’s mostly useless brain.
If you’re wondering about me during all this, well, I’m pretty quiet. While I admit to enjoying giving him and his tools a hard time, I never act out during their games like he does when Duke is playing. It’s just not me to be that way, besides, I usually enjoy taking every single tiny thing in and using it later, as to in the heat of the moment, because I’d rather my ragging be more than a competition as to who knows how to use the word, “f@#ck,” in more ways than the other. (Not that I have anything against the word, mind you, I’m not proud of it, but I’ve been accused of having a sailor’s mouth more than once). There’s also that annoying little issue of actually being able to enjoy almost any college hoops.
Is there anyone left out there who does not now understand why I was contemplating murder or at least lacing his drink with a slight sedative before the game? I dare to even think that there might be a cryolina fan or two out there that get it. That doesn’t mean I think that Santa will be paying you a visit this year because you are still a tool fan, but perhaps there’s hope for you yet. I seriously doubt it, but one never knows, it is college hoops, so anything might be possible.
