I so hate to be the one that ruins the party, I really do. But, alas, I’m afraid it is up to lil’ ol’ me to be the one to let all of my fellow Blue Devil fans out there know that we apparently still suck, so please pay no attention to that smackdown of (2)Texas that you witnessed just hours ago. I just hate to see us all happy, knowing what I now know, only to be brought so suddenly back down to earth, possibly as early as our next game, against the Valparaiso Crusaders.

Did I suddenly gain psychic powers, you ask? Nope, but I’ve got something even better than that: my very own Tarhole. And, by God, if he says something about Duke, you can count on one thing, it’s true! After all, he’s predicted every single loss that the Blue Devils have had so far this season!!! Not only that, he’s shared with me that all Duke’s players are gay (not that that is a bad thing–oohh, I’m so PC) and that all Duke, “girls,” are ugly. (Which is more opinion than anything else, but you can judge for yourself.) Without him, I would have never known about all the love out there for Duke, and I wouldn’t know that the only reasons we ever beat anyone is because Duke gets all the calls or is just lucky.

Let’s just finally own up to it, folks. We suck. There’s just no talent and no chance here. Coach K shouldn’t even have the word, “coach,” anywhere near his name, and on top of that, he just might be the anti-christ. So move along, there’s nothing to see here. And you have that on good authority, via my all-knowing Tarhole.

P.S. Also, just in case you didn’t know, Texas is abhorrently overrated, maybe even more so than The Most Overrated Team EVER, Duke, and that game didn’t really count as a 1 vs. 2, either, really, when you put all the evidence together and look at it logically. Like my Tarhole does.